A Single Pale Pearl
by O-Spinny-o-Cometix-O
Summary: Steven realizes he never spends any alone time with Pearl, and wants to try and find something for them. This is around the time that Pearl disappears. Pearl/Rose implied


It was a nice Friday evening, around mid-summer. The gems were out, probably fighting some monsters or something, and Steven was alone playing some video games. While he played, he realized he missed Garnet, and their regular Friday night of gaming together. He really wished that she wouldn't have to be fighting some corrupted gem things. If she hadn't, she would have been here, right now!

With a sigh, Steven abandoned the game and flopped onto his back on his bed, just laying there silently. He felt Lion come up beside him and gently pet his mane. "Lion, I don't understand. Why don't they let me join all of their adventures? It would be even more fun than games with Garnet or Amethyst, more fun than Saturday nights wrestling with Amethyst, and maybe even more fun than—" He trailed off, scrunching his eyebrows. "Do I even have something I do with Pearl daily?" He couldn't remember the last time he had hung out with her one-on-one, but he also felt like she always resented him. He had always assumed it was because she missed his mom, Rose, but the more he thought about it now, the more he wanted to know. Pearl never seemed to be around when he brought his dad to do stuff with the gems, she always seemed to just disappear. Even when they just played some games up in his bedroom, Pearl was either warped off or in her room in the temple.

But, then again, wasn't she one of the two original founders of the Crystal Gems? Maybe she had other work to do.

But lately, she seemed to be avoiding him. She didn't praise him as much as she usually did for a job well done, and one time he noticed she didn't really say anything at all. She had been focusing more on her alone time, and Steven was beginning to wonder what that might mean for her. He was worried. It was then he decided that whenever the gems got back, he was going to talk to Pearl.

So he waited. And he waited. And he waited.

Ironically not that long after he had decided to wait, he fell back on Lion with a loud groan. "I'm so tired…"

Lion appeared to roll his eyes and shook the teenager off his back. He then stood and padded over to sleep somewhere else.

Steven sighed as he sat up and stared at the warp. What could be taking them so long?

As if the warp could read his mind, the gems were back within a bright flash of light. Steven's eyes lit up in more ways than one as he raced downstairs to meet them. "Garnet! Amethyst! Pearl!" He hugged each one in turn, feeling rejected as Pearl flinched instead of hugging back like the other two did.

Amethyst jumped up on the table and began shapeshifting, though it was unclear what she was trying to be. "You shoulda been there Steven! We fought this creepy gem thing made out of arms! Guys, show Steven what we did! Come on!" she begged, her face appearing in the palm of one of the hands she just turned herself into.

Garnet crossed her arms. "Amethyst, you know we didn't want him there. We thought it was something big, much bigger than what we got. We didn't want him to get hurt."

"He's lucky we didn't bring him," Amethyst dragged on, shapeshifting back to herself and sliding off the counter. "We didn't need him, we probably didn't even need more than one of us to go bubble that thing!"

Steven chuckled half-heartedly as he rubbed his neck. "Yeah, I still would have liked to be there, though."

"It's okay! We thought about you by our side the whole time! Right, Pearl?" Amethyst turned expectingly back to the warp, where she had last seen the gem, but soon whipped her head back around the area of the house. "Pearl?"

Steven looked around too. Pearl was gone? But she had just been there! "Pearl? Pearl!"

It was clear that Garnet was trying to use her future vision, as she was rubbing her temples and gritting her teeth. "Nothing. I don't know where she is. She must be too far away to predict."

Steven looked at his feet, suddenly unable to maintain a steady gaze with anyone. Was it his fault? Maybe Pearl had thought about it too, and realized she never spent any time with him separate from the others. Maybe she was jealous or upset. Maybe something happened on the time defeating the gem mutant. What could have happened?

"We probably didn't even need more than one of us to go bubble that thing!"

Was that what upset Pearl? Or maybe she wasn't upset, and he was just overreacting. Maybe she went to train, or got bored of talking, or just wanted to do something else.

Steven huffed in confidence, bringing his head up to look at the others. "I'll go talk to her. Lion, you're good at knowing where absolutely anyone is at any time and being able to warp to them through a magic portal. Would you help me?"

Lion let out a gruff snort and allowed Steven onto his back.

"I'll be back in a jiffy!"

"Hope you find her!"

"Good luck, Steven!"

The calls of his fellow gems gave him even more confidence and happiness, and Steven smiled as Lion warped them off. When they arrived through the portal, Lion practically kicked Steven off of him and laid down to sleep. Steven groaned at him and looked around. This place was filled with strawberries, bushes, greenery, and… Weapons? Giant weapons? The youngest gem's eyes sparkled with interest and wonder, but he shook his head as he was reminded of what he came here to do. Find Pearl.

Normally he would call her name, but he tried being smart this time and realized if he called out, he might scare her off (if she was even here).

So he went the scenic route, the one that looked like a place Pearl might have walked through. It was a nice path lined with more bushes and some scattered weapons, but it was a bit quieter than the rest of the ambiance around the area he was warped.

As he kept on the path, he finally thought he heard a sound. ...Crying?

Steven's eyes flashed with worry as he made sure he was in fact hearing correctly. Was it Pearl? Was she here? Suddenly, a voice whispered out just in front of him.

"I never wanted this."

_Pearl?_ Steven kept silent still, slowly walking forward and peeking out behind some bushes. And there she was, Pearl of the Crystal Gems, kneeling in front of a small pond in a small clearing from the bushes. This part was deprived of strawberries and flowers, the only life apparent looking to be the gem herself. She spoke again.

"I never wanted you to leave me. I thought you of all gems would know how…" A hoarse sob was forced out of the back of her throat. "How lost I am without you. Broken."

Steven noticed how her hands were clutching the ground beside her like holding onto it would save her life. He noticed the way the tears on her face seemed unable to stop flowing. He noticed how she was so caught up in herself that she didn't hear him when he pushed apart the branches of the bush. He noticed.

"Why did you do it? Why did you give up on Earth, the Crystal Gems, on us… How could you give up on… On me…?" Pearl's voice seemed to get softer as she wept and whispered to her reflection. "How could you miss them? The signs! The touches, the feelings, the secrets… How could you not tell I _loved_ you, Rose?!" She slammed her first down on the puddle, the rest of her body slumping down against what remained as she buried her face in her hands, sobbing.

Steven winced and drew himself back. He didn't know what to do. He knew it wasn't his place to interrupt her, but it also wasn't his place to just stand there and watch her suffer.

He let out a short, quick sigh and decided to just leave her alone for now. She was in no state to interact with anyone, even he could tell. He would talk to her later, he concluded, all he had to do was figure out how and when.

* * *

When he got back home on Lion, the gems were still waiting for him. "No sign of Pearl," he lied, shrugging and sitting down at the table. He kept his eyes on the warp while the rest looked at him.

"Where did he take you?" Garnet inquired.

"Um, some battlefield. He must have thought she was there but I searched everywhere and found nothing." Lion gave Steven a grumpy glare from where he was.

The sound of warping filled the room, and Pearl was back in a flash. (Literally.) All three of the other gems stared at her as she chuckled nervously and walked back over to them at the table. "So…"

"Where were you?" Amethyst exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air. Pearl looked nervous as she shuffled her seat away a bit.

"I was out training in the battlefield."

That was a lie, Steven knew, but he didn't know why he expected her to tell the truth.

Garnet looked unconvinced, but Amethyst shrugged and got up to dig in the fridge.

"But I looked for you everywhere there and couldn't find you!" Steven objected, thinking it smart to play along with his story of not seeing her.

"It was simply a bit of a hidden area, no big deal." Pearl looked even more nervous, her voice shaking a bit. Garnet didn't seem to notice as she nodded and moved away to her room in the temple.

"Hey Steven! Mind if I play some of your video game things? They're super cool," he heard the purple gem ask.

"Oh, sure. Would you mind taking them to your room? Bring them back though!"

"Sure." Steven watched as Amethyst went upstairs, grabbed a couple games, then went into her room. He then looked back at Pearl, who was fiddling with her hands under the table and looked like she wanted to run away.

"Pearl? We need to talk."

"I was afraid you were going to say that," she murmured in response.

Steven sighed a little and gained the confidence to just straight-up tell her. "I saw you at the field. I know you weren't training."

Pearl's face grew pale and she avoided his gaze. "How much did you hear?"

"Everything."

"I-I'm sorry, Steven. I didn't…" She cupped her face with her hands. "I didn't mean for you to hear that. Any of it."

"Pearl, I don't know what happened with you and my mom, but I do know that even if she didn't love you like you loved her, she loved you as her best friend and the person she looked up to the most."

"And how is that?" She peeked out from behind her hands.

"Because that's how I feel about you."

There was a little bit of silence. Steven saw that a small tear slipped down his companion's face, making a tiny wet spot on the table when it fell.

"I do love you, Steven. And I'm sorry I've been avoiding you, it's just… I can't stop thinking about her. I just feel like I haven't been needed on any missions recently. Did you hear Amethyst just a little while ago? We only needed one gem to be there. But she was right, you know? You're lucky you weren't there. They kept pushing me out of the way, kept acting like _I_ was the thing they were supposed to be bubbling. It really made me think, what if she was there? What if she was there with us? She would make sure everyone's part was appreciated, like she always did, regardless of how she felt or who she liked more. That's one thing I always loved about her." Her voice shook and wavered as she went on, more tears slipping down. "I just wanted her here forever. I don't blame you, not for anything. I should be blaming myself. It was my idea to—" She stopped herself quickly, her hands darting to her mouth and clutching instantly.

"Don't blame yourself for anything," Steven demanded, removing her hands slowly. "I'm sorry she decided to have me. I'm sorry she didn't think about how you would feel. I'm sorry she's gone." Steven felt himself begin to cry, too. As he calmed down a bit, he let go of Pearl's hands. "Could you tell me what she was like? I know you've told me before, but maybe talking about it more can help."

Pearl smiled sadly and stood up, taking his hand in hers. "Follow me."

She led him to the warp, where they made their way to a place Steven had never been before. It looked sort of like the strawberry fields but without the strawberries or the weapons. So just a field with some bushes. And some flowers.

Pearl looked out to where the land abruptly dropped down and sat side-swept, looking at Steven as he sat cross-legged beside her. A hologram appeared from her gem, forming a shape that looked exactly like the portrait of Rose in the living room. Steven gasped. "That's mom!"

Pearl nodded briefly and held the hand of the hologram, who sat down in front of her. Holo Rose smiled. "'My Pearl, it's been so long since we've spent some time together.'"

Steven watched, eyes wide, as Pearl recited their entire meeting from memory. "I know. I've missed you. I know we have Amethyst and Garnet now, but… Wasn't it just the greatest feeling ever when it was just us two? Rebels alone against Homeworld, fighting off everyone we could? When it was just us…"

"'I was wondering if you would ever say that again. I've been thinking too recently. You can make hologram pearls out of your gem, right? That can fight us?'"

Pearl nodded. "Yes, is there something you want me to do with them, my… Rose?"

The hologram smiled. "'Why don't we have a little practice together?'"

"That would be wonderful!" Pearl exclaimed, clapping her hands together and jumping to her feet. Holo Rose did the same.

Pearl made hologram pearls that fought against her and Rose, even though she was a hologram. The two moved in perfect sync. They seemed to have tactics that got them to win easily, and multiple times Steven noticed that Pearl threw herself in front of Holo Rose every time she was almost hit. The two really were rebels, they moved so fast and with such confidence. When they looked to be getting tired, the hologram pearls disappeared, and Holo Rose and Pearl hugged. After a while of hugging, they began to sway and then moved into a beautiful dance. It seemed rehearsed, but Steven could tell that it was not. They were both tripping over each other quite a bit and stumbling slightly on their own. Steven laughed a little at this.

Holo Rose held Pearl's back and dipped her, then they stayed in their position for a little bit. Holo Rose faded off and Pearl stood upright. "That was my favorite time that we ever fused," she told the boy, turning to him. "Well, I hope you got to know a little more about her."

Steven nodded in awe. That was amazing! He stood and hugged her, smiling when she hugged back. "Thank you, Pearl. Do you think we could do this again? Maybe once a week? Just sit here and talk about her, you could show me some things like today?"

With a brief smile, Pearl nodded. "That would be wonderful, Steven."


End file.
